I work for the government and have unique skills. Useful skills that make people afraid of me. I don’t arrest, I eliminate. Not many could or would do what I do. Problem is, somehow I had developed a conscience. I chose my assignments. I accepted jobs only if I believed the world would be better off if I used my talents. No problem. Plenty of work in that category. Then came the job I didn’t want, but couldn’t say no to. The person I was asked to deal with wasn’t bad. Wasn’t a criminal. Had never hurt anyone.
Rachel worked in the home office. An analyst. Single woman with one kid who lived with his father. She was one of those put together types, you know, hair, make-up, clothes. Always said the right thing. Always cool and composed. Nothing like me. I’m awkward. Been called surly. I don’t wear clean clothes every day, and I don’t have any friends.
She asked me to lunch out of the blue. Don’t know why, but I went. It was a weird kind of lunch. We weren’t friends or anything. Fancy restaurant and stuff. She in her gray suit and pearls. Me in my jeans, Doc Martins, and leather jacket. After, she asked me to walk with her in the park.
It was chilly that day. The sun was warm, but the wind negated that. Leaves swirled on the path. Rachel didn’t seem to notice. She walked with her head down as if something heavy weighed on her mind. She wouldn’t be the first person to think I would help her out with ex-husband or boyfriend trouble. What else could she want from me?
Rachel set her jaw and blurted out, “Raine, I have a brain tumor. Large and inoperable. It’s killing me. Slowly.”
“Sorry to hear that.” Didn’t know why I had to know this. Like I said, we weren’t friends. I don’t have any friends.
“It’s going to take me a long time to die, and it’s going to be difficult. I’m going to lose my memory, my physical functions. I’m going to lose myself.”
“Why are you telling me this? We’ve never spoken much before.”
“I have a favor to ask you.”
“Yeah?” No, I don’t want to adopt your cat or sprinkle your ashes.
She sighed and walked on. I kept pace but was ready to turn around and leave.
Rachel stopped, faced me, and said, “I need you to kill me. Quickly. Quietly. No fuss. I’d do it myself, I’ve tried, but I can’t follow through. I need you. I need you to help me do this.”
“You’re kidding, right?” I sneered. “Is this a joke?”
Her smile was sad. “No, I’m not kidding. I’m a coward and can’t do it myself. You have integrity. I’ve heard you arguing assignments with the Chief. You’re not in this game for some thrills or because you don’t have a heart. You’re different.”
“Oh, you know that, do you?” I put a mean tone in my voice, rolled my eyes, and looked away as if the tops of the trees were more important than Rachel and her problem.
She said, “I do know that. You have a great deal of heart. I need you to help me.”
I put my eyes anywhere but on her. I wasn’t convinced she was being honest. Rachel started walking again. I stood rooted to the sidewalk until she was maybe ten yards away. I hurried to catch up with her.
“You for real?”
“Yes, I am.” She kept walking – at a brisker pace now.
“How do I know that?”
“What? Do you need to see my medical records?”
“Yeah, for starters.”
Rachel stopped walking again and frowned. “I just told you something I haven’t told anyone else. I’m telling you the truth.”
“You know as well as I do that in our business, truth is a flexible thing. I’m gonna need proof before I even think about this.”
“Fine. I’ll show you my records.”
“Not good enough. Records can be faked.” She opened her mouth to protest, but I stopped her. “You’re an analyst. You deal in fake records. You make your paycheck off fake records.”
She didn’t have a retort for that.
“Fine,” Rachel said, “what would it take?”
“Who’s your doctor?”
“Dr. Richard Mueller. Why?”
“I’ll speak with him first. Introduce me as your cousin.”
“If I pass this test, will you do it?”
“Maybe.”
Rachel took me to her doctor to sit in on a consultation visit. I saw the MRI’s and other tests. I looked into the doctor’s background. Clean as a nun’s. Rachel convinced me she’d have to endure a slow death. She convinced me of her pain. Not so much physical. Mental. Emotional. I researched it for myself—she was facing a messy end.
I couldn’t make this decision without knowing her some. I hung out with her a few times more. Couple more lunches. Another walk in the park. I spent a lot of time with her. Well, a lot of time for me. I don’t hang out with people. I don’t have friends.
One evening she invited me to her apartment in a fancy building, for dinner and a movie. I went even though I didn’t want to. She was going to press me for an answer. The movie got to a slow part. She paused it.
Rachel asked, “Have you decided?”
“I guess so.”
“Well?”
“I’ll do it.”
“How much?”
“Nothing.”
“Come on. I have money. I want to save some for my son for college, but I can offer you five thousand.”
“Nah. Don’t want your money.” I wasn’t looking at her. I stared at the paused television screen.
“Okay,” she said. “And it will be quick? Like a bullet?”
“Is that how you want it?”
“Yeah. I want to just be going about my business and then . . . nothing.”
“There are gentler ways.” It was surreal to me, discussing the method of death with my mark.
“If you can, put a bullet into the part of my brain with the tumor. Destroy the damn thing.”
“That won’t make for a pretty funeral.”
“Don’t really want that anyway.”
“When do you want it to happen?”
“Anytime between now and real soon. I’m already forgetting people, tasks, other stuff. I stumble when I walk and can’t wear heels anymore. I don’t have much time before I become helpless.”
I had noticed her stumbling and dropping things over the past week. Yeah, it was happening.
“I gotta use your bathroom,” I said. My hands trembled —which was stupid. She wasn’t my friend. I didn’t have friends.
When I returned from the bathroom, she said, “Me too,” and left the room.
She had a sweet tea on the table. I had some tranquilizer in my pocket. I poured it into her tea, swirled it with my finger, and sat back. It wouldn’t kill her. Just make her sleepy and relaxed. The lethal dose rested heavy and silent in my pocket. Waiting. She still had time to change her mind. I’d find out how serious she was.
Rachel returned and resumed the movie. She ate more popcorn and took a big sip. Then another. I kept my eyes on the screen. A moment later, she turned to me with effort.
“Now? Thought we agreed on a bullet.” Her words slurred a little.
“Don’t want to use a bullet. Bullets are for ass hole shits. You can still back out. Still, say stop. You don’t have a lethal dose yet.”
“No. This is fine. I guess here on my sofa is . . . fine.”
I stood. “Come.” I helped her stand and walked her to her bed. I laid her in the middle, then got on the bed and lay next to her, only because she wasn’t evil or anything, not because she was my friend.
“I won’t let you die alone,” I said. I put my arm under her head and embraced her. “Just let yourself fall asleep.”
She made a dreamy sort of smile. Her unfocused eyes looked at me. “You’re a good friend, Raine. Thank you.”
I don’t have any friends.
“Shhh,” I whispered. “I promise, sweet dreams when you fall asleep.”
I counted to twenty, and her breathing became soft and shallow. To make sure, I shook her and called her name. No response. I eased my arm from under her head and kneeled next to Rachel. From my pocket, I retrieved the lethal syringe.
I touched Rachel’s face—so calm and peaceful. When I lifted her arm, it felt heavier than it should have. The skin inside her elbow was almost translucent in its paleness. Her veins, delicate blue lines. I eased the tip of the needle into a vein. As I depressed the plunger, the liquid inside disappeared into her body.
Usually, now I would clean up evidence and walk away, but Rachel had been nice to me. I stayed next to her, holding her hand. It felt warm in my grip, or maybe my hands were cold. I checked her pulse every minute. Five minutes later, her pulse faded and stopped.
Getting off the bed, I put on gloves, wiped the cap, syringe, and tranquilizer vial then pressed each to her fingertips. I left the items near her hands. Next, I fluffed the pillow I had lain on and smoothed the comforter. Fewer questions if it looked like suicide.
Training took over. Our dishes went into the dishwasher, and I ran it. I wiped down any surface I had touched. I had been careful about touching things this evening. You would think an analyst would have noticed how cautious I was tonight, or had asked why I brought a gym bag with me.
I cleaned the kitchen, bathroom, and living room. I vacuumed, especially in the bedroom and on the bed, even though I had put my hair in a braid to minimize shedding stray strands.
At her door, Rachel’s vacuum in tow, I put on the wig, hat, and scarf from my gym bag and reversed my coat to the green wool side. This is how the security cameras saw me coming in and how they’d see me leaving. My boots had two-inch lifts inside as another layer of disguise.
I slipped out the door with the vacuum and made for the service stairs and parking garage. The vacuum would soon disappear into the river. From there, I’d fade away, alone.
I had a friend. But not anymore. I don’t have any friends.
The End
by 
CJ Grant
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Love this story. Raine is one of those gritty characters you can’t help but like. The repetition of the point about not having any friends begins to act as a lure, drawing the reader into the story, knowing there is some irony coming. Bringing us to the ultimate conclusion, how could one do such a thing for someone else without truly caring about them? But the writer does this without asking us to judge the right or wrong and simply feel the raw, agonizingly poignant emotion of the overwhelmingly compelling moment.
Thank you for your review. I am so happy you enjoyed the story.
Wow. This story left me breathless!
Thank you. I appreciate your kind words!
An exciting and suspenseful story right to the end. Unexpected and brilliant finish. Enjoyed reading this story very much.
Thank you for the review. I’m glad you enjoyed the story.
I read voraciously. This is GOOD. I want to know more have a series, watch this character. Keep on!
Thank you for leaving a review. I am excited that you enjoyed the story. I have written a novel based on Raine and hope to be able to publish it very soon.
Wow. I got caught up really quickly. I want to know more about her. What is her next assignment? Why is she such a loner? I want more.
Thank you! I appreciate your reading my story.
Thank you for reading. I hope to have more, soon!
Fantastic , well paced story. Excellent character development – skillfully completed within the confines of of a short story. I feel compelled to find out more about Raine. The scenes are described in full detail with a economy of well chosen words. I like the writer’s style and look forward to reading more works by the author.
Thank you for taking time to make a review. Your kind words are much appreciated.
I loved it! I really loved the pacing. I can’t wait to read the novel.
Thank you for your review. Hope to have the book soon.
This shows the power of a well-written short story. The writer has a great grasp on suspense and character development and was able to convey it in a minimum amount of words. This is not that easy to do. I look forward to reading more from this promising writer.
I appreciate your review and your kind words.