{"id":101176,"date":"2025-03-21T06:13:48","date_gmt":"2025-03-21T06:13:48","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/?p=101176"},"modified":"2025-03-21T06:13:48","modified_gmt":"2025-03-21T06:13:48","slug":"a-couple-of-horses-2","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/a-couple-of-horses-2\/","title":{"rendered":"A Couple of Horses"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whenever certain people can\u2019t recoup debts through the legal system, they call my father or me. We\u2019re quicker to collect, cheaper and more trustworthy than lawyers. If said debtors want to pay us not to maim them, well, we\u2019re open to deals. We won\u2019t make arrangements that go against the interest of our employer, but we can be persuaded not to break, say, an arm or a leg. As with any legitimate business, we have a tariff.
\n+++++<\/span>My father has always stood over me and honed me into as tough and relentless a man as he is. He usually handles older offenders these days while I get the younger ones. If a collection is to be made from a family or gang, we\u2019ll work together. We carry guns on occasion but are loath to use them. Cops always show more interest in corpses than they do the injured. We use false names like movie stars who want to hide their ethnicity, unsavoury background, or boring name. I\u2019m Jack Robinson. My father maintains that speed can be a lifesaver in our business. He asks chancers, \u2018You think you\u2019re faster than Jack Robinson?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>My father has a number of customers that give him repeat business. I have an agent, Des Snyder, who gets jobs for me. Once I\u2019ve successfully completed a job for someone, I deal with them directly, but I still give Des a small percentage to keep him on board. My father and Des know each other but don\u2019t conduct business.
\n+++++<\/span>Dad has an antiques and art shop that is legitimate enough to satisfy the taxman and other authorities. His assistant is a knowledgeable and dedicated woman whom he trusts. I\u2019m a cargo broker. Drivers who bring full loads to Melbourne or anywhere near, contact me for loads to get them heading somewhere else. I have a mortgage, health insurance and pay taxes just like Mister Average. I have a bank account for my brokerage business, but I keep money earned from my stand-over trade in a bank deposit box until I accumulate enough to make an investment. I\u2019ve bought paintings and furniture from my father. I have two antique cars standing on blocks in a climate-controlled warehouse in Switzerland. My father sinks his money into an apartment complex in New Zealand; Queenstown, I think.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Not long ago we punished a horse trainer and his son, a jockey. They were supposed to finish fourth or worse but got excited when the horse showed improved form and won the race. The professional gamblers who hired us had planned a massive investment in the animal\u2019s next race when the odds would have been more favourable. Dad took the trainer and I his midget son. The son tried to pay me not to break any bones, but I had to disable him for a month or two. We\u2019ve done the same to boxers and their trainers. That\u2019s when we carry guns. Another time for guns is when dealing with cops who think taking bribes somehow puts them in a position of strength. They think knowledge of certain goings on makes them untouchable. Dad and I teach them the error of their thought processes.
\n+++++<\/span>The job isn\u2019t exactly a barrel of laughs. The other week I had to collect from a guy who\u2019d borrowed twenty-five large and was ignoring calls for the repayments to begin. I went to see him and told him what twenty-five grand\u2019s worth of hurt amounted to. He gave me a sad smile and said he\u2019d guessed as much. \u2018I never intended to pay the money back,\u2019 he said. \u2018I needed it to get some drugs for my wife. She has a rare disease that requires medication not available in Australia. I\u2019d appreciate it if you could leave me with the ability to keep working but, other than that, do your worst, or should I say your best.\u2019 What do you do? My throat constricted as I stuck the boot in, being careful not to break bones.
\n+++++<\/span>Before I left I advised him to move to whatever country produced the medicines his wife needed. \u2018You really don\u2019t need me coming back here next week,\u2019 I said.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

A woman said I\u2019d been recommended by a friend of a friend. \u2018I need you to take care of something for me,\u2019 she said.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I don\u2019t take care of things for jilted lovers,\u2019 I said. \u2018They sometimes have second thoughts after Johnnie turns up at their door full of remorse and oozing red stuff. It can get nasty and nasty isn\u2019t my business.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018No, it\u2019s nothing like that,\u2019 she said.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yeah, well then, not over the phone. You know the Broken Dreams pub in Hawthorn?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I do.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018See you there at six-thirty and it\u2019d be a good idea to bring cash.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>She was quite a number. She\u2019d been sitting at a pokey machine indifferent to the change she was losing while she kept her eye on the front door. I entered by the back door and guessed that a well-heeled, good-looking woman wouldn\u2019t normally play slot machines. I stood behind her and coughed. When she turned and saw me she developed a smile. I don\u2019t like people to smile when they see me; it\u2019s the wrong image for a man in my line of work. Thankfully, the bells on her machine started to clang and money poured noisily into the metal tray. The commotion discombobulated her. (I know that word because my father made me learn it, and a lot of others, when I was young. He\u2019d stand over me and point out a word in the dictionary. \u2018Read, learn and inwardly digest, Son,\u2019 he\u2019d say.) She hadn\u2019t planned on being bumped awry. She seemed unsure if she should gather her winnings, so I scooped up the coins in a paper bucket.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Why don\u2019t you ask a barman to change this lot into folding money?\u2019 I suggested.
\n+++++<\/span>We went to the bar. \u2018You are<\/i> Jack?\u2019 she said.
\n+++++<\/span>I nodded.
\n+++++<\/span>We adjourned to a quiet table where she sat and crossed her lovely legs, revealing a lot of thigh. We both sipped large twelve-year-old single malt scotches. \u2018It\u2019s been a lovely day,\u2019 she said.
\n+++++<\/span>I\u2019d had enough of her nervousness. \u2018Let\u2019s get on with it. Who gave you my contact details?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>She smiled again but at least it was a nervous smile. \u2018Des Snyder. You know him, right?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>Des is my rain maker. I nodded.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I, er, look, someone who wishes to remain anonymous wants you to kill a man called Colin Bertrand.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Colin Bertrand?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>She nodded. \u2018Yes.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Kill?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>Her eyes fixed on mine. \u2018Yes. Something wrong?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Not really. I charge fifty thousand cash for such a job. Strictly cash and half up front. Can you manage that?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yes.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>I\u2019d do someone for twenty but she obviously had no idea. \u2018Good. Can I assume that the friend you mention is in fact you?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yes. Sorry, I just found it hard to voice what I wanted as myself. Does that make sense to you?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Perfect sense. Did you tell Des who the target is? Is there a time element involved?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Not really. No, I didn\u2019t even tell Des what I specifically wanted, but I think he guessed. The reason I want Bertrand dead isn\u2019t related to a specific date, if that\u2019s what you mean.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Are you planning a trip? If not, you should. Go someplace where people will see you, remember you. Let me know your arrangements and then I\u2019ll make mine.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I could go this weekend, unless that\u2019s too soon for you.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I\u2019ll let you know tomorrow after I\u2019ve checked the situation out.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Fine. The man lives in Footscray, if that helps. I have ten thousand with me. Should I give it to you now?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Not in public. Before we go any further, I\u2019d like to know your name.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Oh. Is that really necessary?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Think of it as my insurance policy.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I could lie.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018You could but I\u2019ll know by ten o\u2019clock tomorrow and I\u2019ll have ten thousand of your dollars that you\u2019ll have wasted.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Fair enough. My name\u2019s Jacqueline Peters. What now?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Now, Jacqueline, we go somewhere where you can give me the money.\u2019 I stood. \u2018Shall we?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018How about my place?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>I\u2019d put her down as a \u2018dangerous sex\u2019 type and she wasn\u2019t hard to take, so, \u2018Yeah, that\u2019ll do nicely. You come by car?\u2019 She nodded. \u2018I\u2019ll follow you.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>She must have planned to get laid all along because her pillow talk included some additional instructions.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018After you kill Bertrand, I want you to bring me a painting he has of a couple of horses. That\u2019s why I\u2019m paying fifty thousand after your Mr Snyder told me you\u2019d charge twenty to twenty-five for the job.\u2019 Forget any extra commission, Des. \u2018You\u2019ll need to establish the whereabouts of the painting before he breathes his last.\u2019 She rolled onto her stomach and gave me what she probably thought was a piercing look. \u2018Nothing to say?\u2019 I pursed my lips and shook my head. \u2018That\u2019s the job. I want Bertrand dead, and I want that painting. I think you\u2019ll agree, now that all the cards are on the table, you\u2019re getting more than a fair price.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018There must be more than a few paintings that feature a couple of horses. Any other description?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I don\u2019t think Bertrand will have more than the one, do you? But there\u2019s a man and woman and some trees. The artist\u2019s name is Stubbs.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018George Stubbs?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yes. Are you an art lover?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I invest in art now and then. Stubbs is a bit out of my league though.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yes, well, I\u2019m out of your league too, but here we are. Want a little more action before you leave?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018What about the fifteen thousand readies you still owe me? Do you have it here?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018No. I\u2019ll go to the bank tomorrow and meet you later in the day with it. That okay with you?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018That\u2019s fine. What would you have done if I turned out to be a sort you couldn\u2019t shag?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018But I knew you were, Jack. Mr Snyder was very informative.\u2019<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u2018Where\u2019d you get that Stubbs, Dad? Isn\u2019t it a little rich for your blood?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018You could say that. I had a commission to erase a guy just over a year ago. He had this painting on the wall and I took a shine to it. It\u2019s probably worth around four-and-a-half mill. You like?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I do. Hasn\u2019t anybody been trying to get it back? Family say?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018His widow has been phoning me, telling me I was paid to ice her husband, not lift the painting, but I\u2019ve grown attached to it. It\u2019s not as if they had it legit, is it. She should remember the saying easy come, easy go, and know it\u2019s gone.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018You\u2019ve grown attached to the painting, or its value?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Both, I suppose. Why the sudden interest?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Would this widow be Jacqueline Peters by any chance?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>He smiled. \u2018That name does sound familiar. Gets a bit strident when she\u2019s annoyed. How do you know her?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I slept with her last night\u2026\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Good for you.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018\u2026after she\u2019d hired me to kill you.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Kill me! She\u2019s getting a bit ahead of herself, isn\u2019t she?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018When we were between the sheets, she told me about the painting. Says not only does she want you dead, but she wants the painting back. Paying me fifty large for the both of you. She\u2019s already given me ten.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Does she know you\u2019re my son?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Can\u2019t be sure but I don\u2019t think so. It\u2019d be a dumb move on her part.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Who put her on to you?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Des Snyder.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Does he know the full story?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I doubt it. You know how he likes to know as little as possible.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Let me give him a call.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>I made myself a drink while Dad called Des.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u2018Des reckons he never asked her who the mark was, and she never volunteered it.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018So, how are we going to handle this, Dad? Just top her and keep the painting?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I\u2019d like to know if she\u2019s on her own, or can we expect family members to come out of the woodwork and turn nasty.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Right. How about I tell her that before you died you swore the painting\u2019s in a Melbourne bank vault? I can give her a photo of you dead on some nondescript floor. We\u2019ll look up what funerals are scheduled for next week and I\u2019ll tell her one of them\u2019s yours. Des\u2019ll confirm that to her for us. He\u2019ll also confirm Colin Bertrand is your business moniker and that whoever we choose is your real name. He owes us that much. That way we get to keep the painting and the fifty.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018That way I<\/i> get to keep the painting and you the fifty, Son.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Semantics, Dad. You knew what I meant.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018When do you pick up the rest of the down-payment?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Later today. I\u2019ll tell her I\u2019ve made my arrangements and that she should leave for a weekend somewhere else.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Okay. Let\u2019s think about this again once we have the cash in hand.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018You mean once I have the cash in hand.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>He grinned. \u2018There\u2019s a couple of hitches in that plan of yours.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018What\u2019s that?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018How would you know my real name isn\u2019t Bertrand and what my supposed real name is?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I\u2019m in the business, Dad. I know of you. While I\u2019m supposedly offing you, I\u2019ll extract that detail.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Alright. What if she goes to the funeral, chats with folks and finds out whoever\u2019s being buried, the man with my supposed real name, died in a car crash or from cancer or some such.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I\u2019ll research it, Dad. There has ta be a lot of deaths in the Melbourne area in a week.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>He wasn\u2019t happy. \u2018Umm. Best to see if she\u2019s inclined to hit the sheets with you again. If she is, kill her there and then. If not, we\u2019ll have to do that thinking I mentioned before.\u2019<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

When I met Jacqueline in a shaded area of the Botanical Gardens, she had two flunkies in tow and I wondered if Des had provided them. \u2018Why\u2019re they with you?\u2019 I asked.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Because I don\u2019t like walking around with so much cash on me and to show you I have friends who\u2019ll care if you decide to cheat me in some way. It\u2019s happened before, believe me.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yeah,\u2019 I said, \u2018but I have to tell you they\u2019re not up to it.\u2019 Were they a glimpse of my future? Another reminder I needed to make plans to get out of the business? Time to set a financial goal and, once achieved, find a woman who\u2019d be happy existing with a cargo broker, once she\u2019d signed a prenup.
\n+++++<\/span>She gave the minders a look, as if to check on my observation, before we moved away from them to conclude our business. \u2018Here\u2019s the rest of the down payment,\u2019 she said as she handed me a thick manila envelope.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Thanks,\u2019 I said. \u2018I was hoping you\u2019d be alone so we could have a rerun of last night. Think you can lose them?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018No. Last night was fun but it won\u2019t happen again, or at least until I have my painting back. When do you expect that to happen?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Tomorrow, the day after. It depends on circumstances.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>She nodded, as if she understood what the circumstances might be. \u2018Fair enough. I\u2019m leaving for Sydney this afternoon. I\u2019ll expect a call pm Monday?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Monday\u2019s good. You sure we can\u2019t have some afternoon delight before you leave?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>Her smile was cold, \u2018Quite sure, Jack. Have a nice weekend.\u2019<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I phoned my father. \u2018Have you been out of the house since yesterday afternoon, Dad?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Not so anyone would notice. Why?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I\u2019ve got a man in a car outside mine. You wanna check to see if you\u2019re being watched as well?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Hang on while I take a look.\u2019 I could sense him moving around his house. \u2018No, everything looks normal to me. I had a courier guy here not long ago and there was no-one else in the court then. You think the lovely Jacqueline is checking up on you?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I thought so at first, but what\u2019s the point? If she\u2019s got people to watch me, why bother hiring me in the first place?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Perhaps she knows exactly who you are and is hoping you\u2019ll lead her to me. Let me talk with Snyder again.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>I poured myself a scotch and waited for him to call back.
\n+++++<\/span>It took five minutes. \u2018Spoke to Snyder and he swears he didn\u2019t supply any gorillas to the lovely Jacqueline, which means she has others on the case. One thing he did say was an acquaintance of his, one of those tech nerds said she introduced herself as a friend of his, friend of Des, that is, and hired him to use your phone number to trace your address et cetera.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Bitch.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Quite. I\u2019ve told you before, get a burner phone for each contract ya get. Now, to matters at hand. Things are getting a little hairy and I suggest it\u2019s time for you to kill me and give her the painting. Think you can lose the guy outside your place?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yeah. What then?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Then we\u2019ll meet at that warehouse you rent. No hurry. Whenever you get there is fine.\u2019<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

The fool following me had a Hummer that couldn\u2019t negotiate Melbourne streets like my Beemer. When I was sure he couldn\u2019t work out my route, I headed for the warehouse in Sunshine.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

\u2018That didn\u2019t take long,\u2019 my father said.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018He had the wrong car for the job. I see you\u2019ve brought the painting. What\u2019s with the plastic sheeting and the small \u2013 what, oxygen tank?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018They\u2019re for my imminent demise, Son. I also got some blood from a friend who owns an abattoir. You know him, Jonah Jones.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yeah. How\u2019s he doing?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Enough of the chit chat. You know what we\u2019re about, you\u2019ve seen enough corpses. Let\u2019s suppose you shoot me from behind and then in the head for the clincher. I\u2019ve already shot a hole into the back of my shirt so put a few drops of blood on my back before I put the thing on. I\u2019ll get face-down on the floor and then you can paint a shot in the forehead. Use this piece of black plastic I cut out of a sheet at the shop. It\u2019s the right size for the calibre gun you\u2019re supposedly using. You can put more blood on the ground at the back of my head where the exit wound would be. Take several pictures. Make sure you get plenty of identity shots. I\u2019ll put this tube in my mouth so I can breathe the oxygen and you can wrap me in the plastic, making sure the cylinder and tube aren\u2019t visible. When you think it looks believable take a few more pics. Then lift me into the boot of the Beemer \u2013 I don\u2019t want to have to go through unwrapping and rewrapping myself. Besides, it shouldn\u2019t be a problem for a strapping lad like you. Mind my head when you\u2019re putting me in there. Then more pics, you can\u2019t take too many, Son. We want some good shots to convince the lady Jacqueline I\u2019m no longer around.\u2019<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

After editing the photos, deleting those not required and deleting all reference to my father on my mobile, we cleaned up. I put the painting in the boot of my car. When the place looked like we\u2019d never been there, we drove to an industrial site about ten kms away and put the container of blood, the cylinder, tubing and plastic sheeting into a dumpster. I took my father back to his car and we said our goodbyes before he drove to the airport to catch a flight to New Zealand.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Jacqueline took a long time studying the photos but in the end she said she was convinced. She was ecstatic to get the painting back. I spent the night with her (I thought about strangling her, but I figured her cash was probably in a safe of which I didn\u2019t know the combination). She handed me the second twenty-five thousand over breakfast.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I had a heart-to-heart with Des Snyder who said he was getting irked by all the calls from my father and me. Turned out he knew a little more than he claimed. He did convince me he hadn\u2019t tried to screw us and even went so far as to tell me that Jacqueline, not wanting to embarrass herself with Des, asked her pool cleaner if he knew of someone who could provide a little protection for cash. He and his brother were the muppets I saw in the gardens, and he apparently rented a Hummer with Jacqueline\u2019s money so he could follow me. He got busy on his phone, posting selfies of himself and the large car while he waited for me to leave the house. The word had got back to Des within fifteen minutes. I sent the old man a message telling him so.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

Four months later the brakes on Jacqueline\u2019s car failed and she died in a fiery crash.<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

I took Melanie, a squeeze I\u2019d been with for a while, to New Zealand to meet my father. She was growing on me and seemed happy with me being a cargo broker. My father was with a lovely woman, Josefina, and looked healthy and happy when he picked us up at the airport. On the drive to his place, he asked how his business was faring.
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Is that woman looking after it properly?\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018I visit every week, Dad, and she seems to be doing a great job. You obviously like the financial statements I send you or you would have had me fire her.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>\u2018Yes, well\u2026\u2019<\/p>\n

***<\/p>\n

On the wall of his penthouse apartment in the building he owned was the painting by Stubbs. I waited until the two women went on a tour of the place before I asked, \u2018How the hell did that get there? You haven\u2019t had time to buy it from the estate.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>He smiled. \u2018This is the original, Son. I knew I\u2019d have to surrender it sooner or later, so I had a copy made. It took almost a year to find an expert art forger and have her make the replica and then allow the thing to age a bit. Strange woman thought Stubbs was looking over her shoulder while she did the job.\u2019 He shook his head as if in wonder. \u2018As you now know, Jacqueline knew I had her old man\u2019s painting and wanted it back. I managed to stall her a few times while the forgery aged but she just became too exasperating in the end. It was, of course, the forgery you gave her. I didn\u2019t like giving up the original frame, but I reckoned it would be the convincer. The replacement cost me over ten thousand, but it was money well spent, don\u2019t you think?\u2019 I smiled and nodded. \u2018I\u2019ll be returning to Melbourne now, thanks to you,\u2019 he said. \u2018Can you imagine seeing the painting in the National Gallery next to a note that it was on loan from your old man?\u2019 He smiled wistfully. \u2018I know quite a few who\u2019d be impressed by that.\u2019 He clapped his hands together loudly, as if to wake himself from his reverie. \u2018Trouble is there\u2019d be too many awkward questions. Now I stress about having something so valuable hanging on my wall. It\u2019s not as if this country doesn\u2019t have earthquakes. It\u2019s a hard life. If the stress gets to be too much, I\u2019ll hand the painting over to you, but I wouldn\u2019t hold my breath.\u2019
\n+++++<\/span>No need to Dad.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

[Image Credit : Photo by Johan Rydberg<\/a> on Unsplash<\/a>]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Whenever certain people can\u2019t recoup debts through the legal system, they call my father or me. We\u2019re quicker to collect, cheaper and more trustworthy than lawyers. If said debtors want to pay us not to maim them, well, we\u2019re open to deals. We won\u2019t make arrangements that go against the interest of our employer, but […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":594,"featured_media":101230,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"","_et_pb_old_content":"","_et_gb_content_width":"","_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_feature_clip_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[1468,1858,1452],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-101176","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-p","category-peter-lingard","category-short-story"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p1Zyqm-qjS","jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/A-Couple-Of-Horses.jpg","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101176","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/594"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=101176"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/101176\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/101230"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=101176"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=101176"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.close2thebone.co.uk\/wp\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=101176"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}