The red sky that morning should have been my warning, but I chose to ignore it. I had a job to do and I had to get there before the snow came.
I drove from my house and onto the country lane, my speed picking up as I changed through the gears. Then it came, like a blanket falling from the sky. Huge white flakes hit the windscreen, the wipers doing nothing to shift them.
I tried to slow the car but the brakes wouldn’t work. Surely the snow couldn’t stop them working. I pressed them again and they kicked in, sending the car into a skid. There was a loud bang and the car shuddered. Don’t panic, I thought, it was just a small deer or something.
It was then that the weird thing happened. The car was motionless. Suddenly the roof started creaking; the noise of metal being crushed filled the cars interior. The side windows exploded outwards and within seconds I was being covered in freezing cold snow. The snow filled the car. I tried to push it away from my face but it was getting into my mouth, up my nose. With each panicked breath I took the snow entered my throat. Is it actually possible to drown in snow? I asked myself.
I began to panic as the snow kept packing into the car. I was freezing, literally. I couldn’t move my arms anymore and the snow was freezing my throat. It happened quickly. I suddenly couldn’t breath and blacked out.
* * *
I woke up in a brightly lit room. I wasn’t in a bed, as you would expect, but sat upright in a chair. I looked around the room, looking for a door or a window, but there was nothing. It was only when I concentrated that I noticed that the whole room was moving, even the floor, almost cloudlike.
“Where am I?” I asked out loud.
“Where do you want to be?” asked a deep, booming voice.
“Who’s that?” I asked looking round.
“Your maker.”
“My maker? What are you talking about? Where are you and where is this?”
“I’m everywhere and you are in the decision room. This is where you meet your fate. You are to go through the door. There you will live for eternity.”
The cloudy movement in front of me slowly parted to reveal a door. I got up and walked over to it, grabbing the handle. I hesitated a moment, looking back to see if there was anyone else in the room. I slowly turned the handle and in a flash the door was ripped from its hinges. The room was filled with flames. Hideous looking creatures flew through the flames, screaming and laughing. I tried to take a step back but couldn’t.
“There’s no going back. This is your destination. This is your payback,” the voice boomed.
I was suddenly grabbed by the throat and dragged into the flames. Pain seared through every nerve in my body as my clothing, and then my skin was scorched from my body. I screamed out in sheer agony but it was cut short as the flames burnt my throat. I was meant to see this happening to me as my eyes were somehow protected from the flames. I looked down at my hands and watched as the skin bubbled and burst, the same on my arms and stomach and legs. I could feel my face melting away and lifted my skeletal hands to touch it. I was looking like a monster, the monster I actually was.
* * *
3 Days Later.
“Holy shit! Boss, boss, you’d better come and look at this.”
Detective Derek Morris walked to the back of the wreckage and looked into the boot. Four black bin bags were all open for him to look into. The body parts were frozen. The head of a young blonde woman stared up from one bag. In another there was an arm and a leg, the same in another and then her torso in another. The little toe and little finger were missing from both hands and feet. The same as the other nine bodies that had been found over the past fourteen months
Morris walked back to the driver’s side and looked in at the smashed remains of the driver. He was frozen. The car had been under heavy snow from the worst snowfall the country had ever seen. It had been noticed by a snowplough driver and reported to the police. A rescue vehicle had towed the car from where it had hit a huge oak tree.
“Maybe there is a God after all,” Morris said, “We couldn’t catch you but nature done our job for us. You met your maker.”
-End-
Bio:
David Barber was born and bred in Manchester, England, but now lives in Crieff, Scotland with his wife, Lisa, and their two daughters. He wrote some years ago but was inspired to write again by an old friend and the beauty that surrounds him. He has been published on numerous e-zines, including Thriller, Killers ‘n’ Chillers, A Twist of Noir, The New Flesh and Near To The Knuckle. He also has stories in ebooks and print anthologies. He is the editor of The Flash Fiction Offensive and The Laughter Shack. He is currently working on a few projects including a novel.
David can be found lurking at http://davidbarberfiction.blogspot.com
On Facebook….. https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001692304455
On Twitter…..@thetwoblokes @TFFO @LaughterShack


Excellently gritty but not gritty enough to melt the snow that caught the monster. Nice one David
Thanks, Graham. Appreciate the feedback!
What goes around comes around. Fine work.
Cheers, buddy!
Hahaha… oh man. Straight Biblical on his ass! Tight and clean… Do you drown in snow or choke on it??? Hmmm… Well worth the read, David.
Thanks, Liam. Drown or choke, I certainly don’t want to find out! :-)
Dark and gritty… a nice mood piece.
No matter our belief system – God, karma, fate – the monster will always get his due.
Nicely told, David… this one leaves a nice little ‘taste’.
Veronica
Thank you, Veronica. Appreciate it!
Nice bit of cold justice.
Nice site as well. Looking forward to reading some of the other stories
Thanks, Rob.
Can’t beat a bit of poetic justice. Liked the style of this, the fact it was simultaneously surreal but believable. The pace was perfecto, with intrigue dragging you along. Half-expected him to be found frozen, but still scorched, making the detectives scratch their heads, but I think you got it spot on, mate.
Cool site, Daz. All linked up now, to me blog & TKnC.
Best,
Col
Cheers, Col. Appreciate your feedback!
David, as a survivor of the notorious Blizzard of ’77 in Buffalo, you had me creeped out with the notion of drowning in the snow. Good work.
Thanks, Dana. Apologies for creeping you out. Thanks for the feedback!
Great job, Dave. A couple good twists you had there. I really liked the snow angle as the way he was done in. It was tight, well-written, and read very smoothly. Very good desriptions on display after he opened the door, really well done. Last story today, before I hit the sack. Nice way to end the night!
Thank you, Sean. Appreciate the feedback!
Cool David! You always bring us right into the action and give us a satisfying ending.
Thanks, Tina. Appreciate it!
Who really wants to ‘live’ for eternity?
I love how you twist our perception. He’s an ordinary man on a mission. He’s a dead man talking to his God/Devil (are they perhaps the same?) He’s a monster that deserved to die.
Excellent, and chilling.
You’re too kind, Lily! Thank you.
You had me feeling sorry for the guy, David – until that monster line – and then I saw that, ah – just desserts were had. Enjoyed this!
Really appreciate your words, Robin. Thanks!
Really liked this one, David. The surreal touches especially made for a nice otherworldy feel. And the ending, very satisfying, very well executed. We discover what we need to at just the right moment throughout. Cheers.
Thanks, Mike. Really appreciate your feedback. Cheers!
Good one, Dave. Perfect retribution.
Thanks, Charlie. Appreciate it, my friend!
Right to the (barbed) point. Evil gets as evil does. Perfect us of shift to 3rd person, like we’ve pulling back with a wide pan shot out of hell.
Cheers, Joe. Appreciate you taking the time to read and comment. Thanks, man!